Dear reader, do you wish to be the centre of attention of hundreds of people? Do you wish to become one of the most respected members of your community? Do you wish that the people you see every day listen to everything you say? Well if the answer is yes, I have an answer. INTRODUCING, CULTS. Cults are the best way to socialize and find like-minded individuals who are devoted to whatever eldritch horror you made up. Join me as I dive into the world of cults and how you can make your very own.
WHAT ARE CULTS?Cults are groups of people who share beliefs, practices, and or rituals that are often considered outside of mainstream society. These groups are religious and often worship made-up beings. Some cults are political in nature such as the Korean Unification church and the infamous Ku Klux Klan (although you can make an argument that they are a heretical Christian cult). There are also terrorist cults, doomsday cults, destructive cults, and many more subcategories that I cannot cover due to there being more than 5,000 cults worldwide.
Cults often require their members to be fully devoted to the group, often to the exclusion of family and friends. They may also require significant financial contributions or other sacrifices from their members. Cults can range from small isolated groups to large, global organisations. They can be religious, political, or centred around other ideologies or causes.
It's important to note that not all small unconventional groups are cults, and not all cults are dangerous. You can even have a cult surrounding the hit video game Doom!
However, some cults have been associated with abusive and illegal practices, including physical and sexual abuse, forced labour, and financial fraud. Some of these infamous cults are the Ku Klux Klan and the Peoples Temple which started off as a normal religious cult that turned into an isolated one which took all the member’s belongings and forced them to move to a heavily monitored town. Eventually, the leader ordered the suicide of 900 members which included 276 of them being children.
Overall, cults can be harmful and most of them are. But that shouldn’t stop you from starting a wholesome cult worshipping breadcrumbs that look like Jesus.
WHY DO PEOPLE JOIN CULTS?
Some people join cults to search for meaning and purpose. These people are in search of spiritual or existential meaning. The most common reason for this is that mainstream religions such as Christianity and Islam do not satisfy them. Sometimes it is due to the sense of not belonging to a religion or a group. They can also join these groups due to cults taking off their vulnerability or being manipulated by members of the cult or their own family. This happens more often if the leader is a charismatic person. Unfortunately, to be a cult leader, you have to be charismatic to a degree so the chance of a vulnerable person not being convinced by a cult leader is slim. These people can also just lack critical thinking skills and are instantly convinced without questioning anything.
Animportant reminder isthat individuals who join cults may not be aware of the true nature of the group or its practices. They may not realize that they are being manipulated or exploited. Itisimportant to carefully evaluate any group or organization before becoming involved and to seek help if you or someone you know may be involved in a potentially harmful group.
SHOULD YOU MAKE A CULT?
Honestly, no. Cults are dangerous groups that are unpredictable. While there are cults that aren’t harmful, just some minor changes in the structure of said cult can turn it into a violent and destructive one. But hey, you have already read this far and you clicked this article due to the title, so I might as well teach you.
HOW TO START A CULT101
Well for starters, you have to decide what kind of cult you want. I recommend a cult surrounding a non-destructive object like a 2012 Honda Civic (car accident rates don’t count). Now that we have established the object of obsession, we have to begin obsessively researching it. Once we have researched the topic of choice successfully, we can move on to step two of forming a cult. We have to find members. Now you can do this two ways, either you do the talking or pick someone you can trust and who is charismatic to do your job for you. If you do this yourself then there is no problem, you are the figurehead and the one going around recruiting people to join your Honda Civic cult. People will believe that you are the leader and you don’t have to deal with any power struggle or inside politics. However, if you pick someone charismatic to do the job for you, you may be at risk of a takeover since members will likely believe the most charismatic person, especially in cults, so watch out for that.
After crowning yourself as the leader of the 2012 Honda Civic Appreciation Cult, you can start establishing rules, concepts, and moral codes. No matter how ridiculous the rules may sound, as long as you are charismatic enough, you can get away with it. If flat Earthers can push their very obviously false agenda for decades, you can push a silly rule about looking at a 2012 Honda Civic from the back without closing your mouth will warrant you a hearing at the cult trials. Silly rules like these can be enforced but do not make rules about sacrificing the blood of 2-8-year-old children. That wouldn’t be very family-friendly now,would it?
The next logical step is to find a place for worship, which in this case would be my garage which contains the Honda Civic and the scripture of this cult. We then come up with a slogan which in this case would be “Found the Honda Civic”
Now that’s the setup part done, we will proceed to the actual start of a cult.
This is the point of no return, this is the point where you separate between a fun club talking about Honda Civics and a cultworshipingthe car like GOD. If you wish not to further escalate, go back now and dismantle the cult and call in a “Social Experiment”.
DO NOT PROCEED UNLESS YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY DEVOTED TO YOUR CAUSE. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED
In Every meeting that you arrange with your cult, you have to make sure you “tune in” your cult to one behaviour, in this case, the absolute loyalty to praising the 2012 Honda Civic no matter what. We can slowly give speeches reinforcing that our idea is the one true idea and is the one true correct one. Practice your obsession with your cult, this can be done by inspecting the glorious Honda Civic and taking a look at its parts. Design a shirt and make them only for your most dedicated member. This will show the member's absolute loyalty to the cause will bring them rewards. This will cause the members to be more loyal, slowly making them devoted to the one true god, Honda Civic. Reach out to more people, make flyers, posters, online ads, memes, social media accounts, and whatever tools you can use, use one to extend your reach. Offer your local community free pizza in exchange for their time to look at our cause. If that doesn’t work, give them money. Do public speeches about how life is good after you invited the Honda Civic into your life. Grow your group, you must let the others know about the Honda Civic. THEY HAVE TO KNOW ABOUT THE HONDA CIVIC. THE HONDA CIVIC IS THE TRUTH, EVERYONE IN THE WORLD MUST JOIN AND DEVOTE ALL THEIR LIFE SAVINGS TO HONDA CIVICS. THE PEOPLE WILL REJOICE WHEN GOD RELIEVES US FROM OUR PAIN AND SUFFERING. GOD IS ALIVE, AND IT IS THE 2012 HONDA CIVIC.
BECOME ONE WITH THE HONDA CIVIC
In conclusion, do not start a cult unless you want to commit to one. You cannot handle devotees that trust you to run a cult despite your humble beginning as a joke club.
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or you can devote all your life to the all-knowing Honda Civic.Join the Honda Civic Appreç̷̛̻̪͛̑͆i̴̥͓̜̣̽̚a̶̯͕͎̺̗͇͒t̵͎̤̘͂̑͋́̒i̵̮̱͖̲͇̓̓̍̌͋͝ǫ̷͓͇̳͉͂̅̌n̶̢̙̠̺̈́̒̅̑͐͘ ̴͚͇̼̫́͑̏̾̉̔͆ͅͅc̵̮̓͐͑͝u̴͓̹̰̳̿̋͐l̷͚̥͉̅͗̍̀t̶͚̀̓,̴͙͉͈̹̩͊ ̸̫͇̫̲̑̉̕͝y̶̮̜̽̉ŏ̴̰̰͖̱̫̑̈̑̇͝ǘ̴͕̺̕͜͝ ̶͎͍̙̜̖̣̓̑̈́̀w̷͔̠̦̦̣̓̏͒o̷͉͍͖͔̓̅̐̈́̑̈́̕ǹ̷̹͔̞̩̣̹̪́͌̒̋̚'̸̰̟̱͕͈̋̄̀ẗ̵̪͚́̽̉͌͜͠ ̴̨̮̣͔̯̯̬͂̒r̷̢̟̱̀͑̎́̆̇͘͜ȩ̸͔̣̺̦̔͆̈́̓̕͜g̸̡̧̗̅͆r̶̟̭̟̳̥̀̃̑́͝ͅe̷̻̰̯̟̅ͅt̷̬̫̤͇̆̓̀̄ a̵̼̙͝ ̶̩̾s̵͔͋i̴͖̳̐͒ṅ̷̞͝g̵͐̑ͅĺ̶̨͍̕e̷͇̿ ̵̦̣̃t̷̪͆h̴̟͊ị̵͂̚ṇ̴̓g̷̻̘̊̋
https://www.wikihow.com/Start-a-Cult
Picturefrom:https://www.caranddriver.com/photos/g18050239/2012-honda-civic-ex-sedan-road-test-review-gallery/